Cancer Support

I Just Got Diagnosed with Cancer, Now What?

Nankind Parent diagnosed with cancer with her Children

A guide to your first steps, from self-care to finding free support near you. 

“You have cancer.”

No one is ready to hear those words. Maybe you were sitting in a doctor’s office or on the phone. Whatever the moment looked like, the room probably changed. For many parents, the first thought isn’t fear for themselves. It’s one overwhelming question: what does this mean for my kids?

Nankind was founded by a mom with a similar experience, sitting in a waiting room with a cancer diagnosis and other parents with their kids beside them, all trying to manage both. This guide is for parents when “I just got diagnosed with cancer, now what?” becomes the most urgent question in your life.

First, Give Yourself a Moment

You don’t have to figure everything out today. The urge to research, plan, and protect everyone around you right now is completely understandable. But you don’t have to be strong for anyone yet.

What you might be feeling

There’s no “correct” way to feel after a cancer diagnosis. In the first days, people feel fear, for themselves, for their kids, for a future that suddenly feels uncertain. Some feel numb. Some feel guilty. Some even feel a strange relief at finally having a name for something that felt wrong. Many feel anger: at the timing, the unfairness, their own body.

All of it is a normal response to an abnormal situation. The Canadian Cancer Society  has helpful guidance on the emotional side of a new diagnosis, worth reading when you’re ready.

Taking Care of Your Health

Getting to know your healthcare team

One of the most grounding things you can do in the first week is learn who is on your team. Write down every name: your oncologist, your nurse navigator, your patient coordinator, and the social worker at your cancer centre. These are the people who will guide you through treatment, and they have heard every question before. There is no question too big or small.At your first oncology appointment, consider asking:

  • What type and stage is my cancer?
  • What are my treatment options?
  • How soon do I need to start treatment?
  • What support services does this hospital or cancer centre offer?
  • Can you refer me to a social worker or patient navigator?

Decide how much information you want, and when

Some people want every detail right away. Others just want to know the next step. Both are completely valid. What matters is telling your team your preference, so they can share information the way that works for you. You can always change your mind later.

Taking care of your body before treatment starts

The time between diagnosis and treatment is more valuable than most people realize, and most people spend it paralyzed by anxiety. Try using it instead:

  • See your dentist. Some chemo drugs and radiation can turn small dental issues into serious problems mid treatment.
  • Start moving daily, even gently. Patients who build some activity beforehand tend to handle treatment fatigue better.
  • Get your paperwork and systems in order. Chemo brain is real; do this while your mind is clear.

Getting Organized

Start a binder or folder for medical records, test results, and appointment notes from day one. Use a calendar to track appointments, side effects, and questions. Ask someone you trust to be your “admin buddy,” someone who can sit with you at appointments and take notes. You don’t have to hold all of this in your head alone.

The Waiting Gap

After diagnosis, it can feel like treatment should start immediately. Usually, it doesn’t. Tests need to run, results need to come back, and your team needs time to build the right plan for your specific cancer. This gap isn’t a failure. It’s the planning process working the way it should.

Talking to the Right People

Who to tell, and in what order

You are not obligated to tell everyone at once. Think carefully about who will hold this information well. Your children, your employer, and your extended family all require different conversations, at different times.

Talking to your partner or closest support person

Be honest with your partner about what you know and what you don’t. It is okay to be scared together. Divide the “figuring out” tasks so they don’t all fall on one person. Make it a team.

Setting limits with people who mean well

“I’ll keep you posted” is a complete sentence. Designate one person as the information hub so you don’t have to repeat yourself. Give yourself permission to stop responding to messages that exhaust you.

How Do You Talk to Your Kids About a Cancer Diagnosis?

Many parents say their first thought after diagnosis wasn’t about their own health. It was “What do I tell my kids?”

Why It’s Worth Talking Early

Kids sense when something is wrong. Silence doesn’t protect them. Research consistently shows that age appropriate honesty lowers children’s anxiety more than it raises it.

What to Say, and How to Start

Keep it simple and honest. “I’m sick, and the doctors are helping me get better” is enough for most young children. Nankind offers a free Cancer Conversations guide, created by their Psychosocial Support Specialists, to help you find the right words at every age and stage.

For free in-person support, Nankind’s Teddy Bear Clinic is a gentle, guided session where a Psychosocial Support Specialist uses a teddy bear and child-friendly medical tools to walk your child through what cancer treatment looks like.

“The shift in Bowie’s understanding of what I was going through was a complete 180 after the Teddy Bear Clinic. What had felt impossible to explain suddenly felt shared.” Erin, Nankind mom

Practical Realities: Childcare, Work, and the Logistics

Childcare during treatment

Nankind provides free, specialized childcare delivered by screened and trainedVolunteer Angels who visit your home weekly to care for your children while you rest or attend appointments. Available to any parent with a cancer diagnosis in Southern Ontario, regardless of income. Register early, even before you think you’ll need it.

Financial resources to look into early

What Free Support Is Available Right Now?

For you, the patient

For your children

  • Nankind’s Free Childcare Program: trained Volunteer Angels visit weekly, bringing therapeutic activities that help children build resilience. Free for any parent with cancer in Ontario with children under 16, both in-home and virtual.
  • Homework Support: Free virtual homework support led by Nankind’s network of Volunteer Angels.
  • Nankind Clubhouse: A free virtual peer support group where children connect with others going through the same thing, guided by Psychosocial Support Specialists.
  • Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 

For your caregiving partner

  • Wellspring: caregiver support programs, including counselling and peer groups for partners and family members supporting someone with cancer.
  • Gilda’s Club Canada: networking groups and emotional support specifically for caregivers, not just patients.
  • Canadian Cancer Society: resources for partners navigating a loved one’s diagnosis together.

You Don’t Have to Have This Figured Out

There is no version of receiving a cancer diagnosis that feels manageable. The fact that you are here, reading this, trying to make a plan: that already says something about you.

Nankind was founded by a parent who sat where you’re sitting. Every program, every Volunteer Angel, every Teddy Bear Clinic, every support group exists because that parent knew that no one parent, child, or family should have to go through this journey alone.

If you’re a parent with cancer in Southern Ontario, register with Nankind as early as you can. The support is free, created specifically for your family, and ready whenever you are.