When you’re a parent going through cancer treatment, self-care is usually the first thing to go.
At Nankind, we support parents facing cancer, and we see this play out with almost every parent we work with. There’s always something more urgent like a school run, an appointment, a child who needs dinner. And underneath it all, a quiet guilt that says taking time for yourself is somehow taking something away from the people who need you.
Practising self-care during cancer treatment isn’t indulgent; it can be the foundation everything else is built on. For parents especially, it’s one of the most important things you can do for your children.
This guide covers the whole picture: physical self-care during cancer treatment, emotional self-care, and the part no one talks about enough, taking care of yourself before you take care of everyone else.
Much of what follows can hold true for those in treatment. But when you’re also raising children through it, there is an extra layer that can make things more complicated.
Why Is Self-Care So Hard During Cancer Treatment?
Most parents in cancer treatment describe the same tension. They know they should rest and ask for help but the moment they try to, guilt moves in.
Part of it is the nature of parenting, you’re wired to put your children first. Part of it is the diagnosis itself, which arrives with an invisible pressure to stay strong, positive, and not burden anyone.
But here’s what we know: a parent running on empty can’t show up the way they want to. Not for their children, their treatment, recovery and not for themselves. Self-care isn’t the opposite of caring for your family, it’s what makes caring for your family sustainable.
This is the whole-family model Nankind is built on. Supporting a parent with cancer is one of the most direct ways to support your children.
Physical Self-Care During Cancer Treatment
Rest and Fatigue
Fatigue during chemotherapy is unlike ordinary tiredness. It’s deep, cellular, and unpredictable. The most important thing you can do is honour it when it arrives rather than push through it.
Rest isn’t laziness, it’s treatment. Your body is doing something enormous, and it needs recovery time to do it well. Give yourself permission to sleep when you can, to cancel what can be cancelled, and to let the less important things go.
Staying Hydrated
Treatment side effects including nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea can deplete you quickly. Water isn’t exciting, but it’s essential. Keep a bottle close, herbal teas and diluted juices count too. If you’re struggling to stay hydrated, let your care team know immediately.
Eating During Treatment
Appetite changes during treatment are common. Food may taste metallic or unappealing, and some days eating will feel difficult. The goal isn’t perfect nutrition, it’s enough nutrition. Eat what you can, when you can, without pressure or guilt.
If preparing meals for your family are a challenge, Nankind’s free Meal Support Program brings nutritious prepared meals directly to your door for eligible families across the GTA, Barrie, Hamilton, and Kingston. We know how hard it is to meal plan, grocery shop, unpack, prepare and then clean up. That’s why this program was created to help parents and caregivers at the most difficult times.
Managing Side Effects at Home
If your care team has prescribed medication for nausea, take it before nausea arrives rather than waiting for it to hit. Mouth sores, neuropathy, and other side effects are manageable when caught early. Stay alert, communicate what you’re experiencing, and never assume a symptom is too small to mention.
The parents we’ve supported have shared that, when possible, building a new daily rhythm, including gentle movement, is what got them through the hardest stretches. Read more in Managing Your Emotions During Cancer.
Emotional Self-Care: How Do You Take Care of Your Mental Health During Cancer?
Physical self-care matters and so does the inner work.
Naming what you’re feeling, even just to yourself, reduces the weight of carrying it silently. Fear, grief, anger, and guilt aren’t signs that you’re coping poorly, they’re signs that you’re human, and that something very hard is happening.
Find one person you can be honest with. Not someone you have to be performative around, but someone who can hold space for how you actually feel. That might be a friend, a family member, a therapist, or a peer who’s been through it themselves.
If you’re navigating this as a parent in Ontario, Nankind’s Mom Support Group offers a free weekly virtual group led by a nurse navigator, designed specifically for mothers with cancer. A space where you don’t have to explain yourself, where everyone in the room already understands.
How Do You Talk to Your Children About Cancer?
One of the most common questions parents in cancer treatment ask is how to talk to their children about what’s happening. It’s one of the most important conversations you’ll have, and it begins with you.
Nankind’s Psychosocial Support Specialists works directly with parents navigating this moment. Our team’s guidance is consistent: before you sit down with your child, sit down with yourself first.
Ask yourself what you’re feeling, what you’re most worried about and what you hope your child understands after the conversation. You don’t need to have all the answers, children don’t need a perfect parent. They need a loving, honest one who’s willing to be present.
Give yourself permission to say I don’t know. To tell your child what you know today and update them as things change.
Many parents carry an inner voice that says I need to stay strong or I shouldn’t upset them. Our team encourages parents to offer themselves the same compassion they’d offer a close friend in the same situation. You’re not expected to be perfect, you’re expected to show up, and that’s something you’re already doing.
Before the conversation, choose one small act of self-care like a slow walk, a cup of tea, a few minutes of quiet. Looking after yourself in that moment isn’t taking time away from your child, it’s helping you be more present for them.
One conversation is rarely enough so remember to keep checking in and answer questions as they arise. Remind your child that they can always come to you.
For support navigating these conversations, Nankind’s Psychosocial Support Team is here to help you for free. Our specialists work with parents to find the right words for children at every age and stage.
A 360° Self-Care Checklist for Parents in Cancer Treatment
Physical
- Rest when you can, without guilt.
- Stay hydrated throughout the day.
- Eat when you’re able, without pressure.
- Take prescribed medications as directed, before symptoms arrive.
- Tell your care team about every side effect, no matter how small.
Emotional
- Name what you’re feeling, even just to yourself.
- Find one person you can be fully honest with.
- Join a peer support group where people already understand.
- Give yourself permission to not be okay.
Relational
- Define what help looks like and ask for it specifically.
- Set boundaries with well-meaning people who drain your energy.
- Let your children be part of the journey in age-appropriate ways.
Before talking to your children
- Check in with yourself first
- Give yourself permission to not have all the answers
- Choose one small act of self-care before the conversation
- Keep the conversation open, not once but ongoing
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it okay to rest as much as I need to during cancer treatment?
Yes. Fatigue can be a common side effect of cancer treatment, and rest is a legitimate and necessary part of recovery. You don’t have to push through exhaustion to prove anything. Honouring your body’s need for rest is one of the most important things you can do during treatment.
How do I manage self-care when I have young children at home?
This can be one of the hardest parts of parenting through cancer. The key is to define what self-care looks like in the context of your life right now, not someone else’s. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Ten minutes of quiet after the kids are in bed, a shower without rushing, or accepting the meal someone offered to drop off. Nankind offers free programs including in-home and virtual childcare, and meal delivery for families across the GTA, Barrie, Hamilton, and Kingston, designed specifically to create space for parents to rest and recover, knowing that their kids are looked after.
When should I tell my children about my cancer diagnosis?
Most child psychologists and psychosocial specialists recommend telling children as soon as possible, in age-appropriate language. Children are perceptive and will often sense that something is wrong even when nothing is said. Honest, calm communication reduces anxiety and helps children feel included rather than frightened. Nankind’s psychosocial support specialists can help you find the right words for your child’s age and stage, free of charge, and our free Cancer Conversations Handbook walks you through how to have these conversations step by step.
What is a psychosocial support specialist and how can they help me?
A psychosocial support specialist is a trained professional who helps people navigate the emotional, social, and psychological dimensions of a cancer diagnosis. At Nankind, our psychosocial support specialists work with parents to process the emotional weight of their diagnosis, develop coping strategies, and prepare for difficult conversations with their children. As part of this, each family receives a free support plan tailored to their specific needs. Specialists also help children understand their parent’s cancer in their own language, through medical play with a teddy bear and pretend medical equipment, offered in both group and individual settings. All support is free of charge.
How do I know if I need professional emotional support during cancer treatment?
If you’re feeling persistently overwhelmed, unable to sleep, disconnected from the people around you, or struggling to function day to day, those are signs that additional support could help. You don’t have to reach a crisis point to ask for it. Reaching out early, before things feel critical, is one of the most meaningful things you can do for yourself and your family.
You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup
Cancer treatment asks everything of you. Self-care is how you make sure there’s something left.
Nankind is here to stand beside you: psychosocial support for you and your children, peer connection through groups like our Mom Support Group, and free programs built around what families facing cancer actually need, all of it free, regardless of income or background.
Explore Nankind’s free support programs for families affected by cancer here.